FLATLINED
Flatlined page
1994, edited for html 1996
Welcome to my "flatlined page. If you've chosen to come here you're
wondering about my death experiences. Some would ask why not say "near
death"?
Simply because it wasn't near death, I was dead. Flatlined. Turning cold. Whatever you want to call it.
If you haven't already done so, my first flatlined experience is actually on the introduction page. You really should start there so things make more sense.
From my original notes, copied to word processor and now into web page
format. I have included a brief introduction from my notes that lead
into my death experiences. Why? Because it helps understand how it all
fits together.
Edited for grammer and spelling. (I tend to write fast because my brain is much faster than my hands!)
After the high school death experience, other things changed. I moved
twice. That involved changing schools, making new friends - then
actually moving back to the same town I started high school and
finishing there. (I now consider, for resume and other professional
purposes, that I went to the same high school for 4 years because
that's where I started and ended.)
My health improved and my passion for science (meteorology and
astronomy, in particular) grew. I started questioning many things. Life
included. My circle of friends became those who were either interested
in science or were really good people. Outside of them, I was shy. I
became heavily involved with a local astronomy club and became
qualified to handle a huge observatory class telescope by myself.
Friends in the club convinced me that my vast knowledge should be used
to educate others. BUT I WAS SHY! Right down to the sweaty hands and
feet, stuttering words, pounding heart and turning red. Being tall
didn't help. I wished I was short.
Anyway, I practiced - pretending to talk to a crowd by myself. Talking
to friends. I got involved with high school (and eventually college)
radio. This helped a lot. I became more comfortable. To some of my
friends, they noticed the quiet and shy guy that was me, was now the
the one they couldn't shut up! I read science book after science book -
mostly astronomy and meteorology and some geology. So science was my
thing. Astronomy was number ONE! The vastness of the Cosmos grabbed my
interest and I couldn't get enough. I had been interested in the sky
since I was about 6, but now it occupied my mind almost all the time.
If it was cloudy, I didn't care - because that was weather! Number TWO on my list!
Then at the ripe old age of 19, it happened again. I died. History
repeated itself, but in an observatory dome at 2 a.m. this time. I was
observing with 2 other observers some galaxies and star clusters. We
were the only ones in the observatory after a public viewing session.
We stayed late to observe stuff that came up later that night. It was
cold and I didn't realize my blood sugar was
dropping fast, until it was too late. I was sitting when it happened.
The others thought I fell asleep. Luckily one guy knew something about
first aid and figured out I wasn't asleep, but 'gone'. By that time I
was
already standing on the other side of the dome, watching the whole
scene in front of me. Lights being turned on, CPR being started
(incorrectly, but he tried) and the other guy going downstairs to call
an ambulance. I actually started yelling "I'm OK, I'm right here!" but
obviously no one could hear me. Then that plain looking man appeared in
front of me. Same guy as years before.
I vividly recall saying to him "This really isn't a good time.". He
said "It is time for you to see more and understand more. It is not
your time and you will be with your friends again soon." he took my
hand and we started to walk. It was a misty or foggy scene with a soft
sandy-like surface we were walking on. Barefoot. We came upon more
people. I saw my grandparents (all 4 this time) and other people who
had passed on over the past few years. They were all smiling. I asked
"Is this heaven?" The man said "Some call it that.". I asked "So why
have I been brought here twice now?". A woman stepped out of the group
of people and said "Because you want to know what is out there. You are
curious. You carry the sign.". Then she stepped back. Now I was
perplexed - a sign? I wasn't carrying any sign. So I asked "What sign?"
The man said "The sign you have carried since you were born. They said
you wouldn't live, but you have. It wasn't your time yet, even then.".
By this point I was actually getting annoyed with all the double talk.
So I asked "What is the sign I carry? Tell me. What does it mean?" He
said "Don't be frustrated, many carry the sign. It's right in front of
you. You show it to everyone you know. You like to discover things and
explore, so explore yourself and find the sign. It's right in front of
you." Then another man stepped foreward and said "You question the
universe and the universe has answers. You bring answers to people who
have questions and that is good. Now find the answer inside yourself.
Just look in the mirror, your answer is right in front of you." The
original man I walked with moved in front of me and smiled. He said "We
do not want to confuse you with riddles or other questions, you enjoy
finding things out for yourself. So this is simply an easy task for you
to discover for yourself." At that I really had to ask - "Are you God
or Jesus?" He smiled and said calmly - "I go by many names by many
people. I have many faces to different people. To you, I am just a man
who can help you find your way. To others, I am larger than life
itself. To others, I don't exist at all. But almost everyone will meet
me at some time." My mind was putting it all together, so I figured he
was who I would call "Jesus" because that simply worked for me. So I asked "Did you ever live like everyone
else - and die like everyone else?" He said "Yes, many times. My time
has come and gone many times." I asked if the same was going to happen
to me. He said "No, your time is not now. I have brought you here to
help guide you. There are others and you are not alone."
While all this "chit chat" was going on, the people faded from view and
I was standing with the man in front of a huge castle like structure.
It was the most beautiful structure I had ever seen. It was shimmering
in light all over. The sky was glowing bright, but not blinding. There
was a stream in front that had water that had a golden yellow glow to
it. I asked "What is this place?" The man said "My home as you would
think it should be. Look down." I looked down and saw myself in a
hospital with people working on me. At that point they were trying to
shock my heart to start again. I looked back up and said "I can't feel
the shocks they are giving me. But it IS me, right?" The man said "Yes,
that is you. You will be there again soon. Discover your sign and
understand the messages I will send you as you sleep. They have
meaning. I will speak with you again. But now it is time for you to
return to your friends and life." Then I saw a bright light and then
darkness. Realizing my eyes were closed, I opened them. Several doctors
and nurses were around and a few started clapping. One doctor said
"He's back with us! How are you? Please wiggle your fingers and toes if
you can." So I was back. I didn't tell anyone about what happened right
then.
Days later, my parents convinced me that I should get scanned and
x-rayed again to see if anything else was wrong and why was I having
these bad sugar level drops. So off to the doctor, specialist and
hospital. Everything was still OK.
--------------
At 23, I'm still in college. Living in a bad situation. A holy-rolling
religious freak who preaches but doesn't follow - and he's my roommate.
He's a nice guy, but very self-righteous and likes to tell everyone
else how to do the right thing. Meanwhile, he's banging a married girl,
gets drunk often and has considered suicide many times. Uh huh.... But
it beats sharing a room with the other two that share the campus
apartment. They're drug dealers. Our apartment is being investigated.
Seriously. I write this in the campus library at 11:30 pm because
they're having a "pill party". My roommate went home for the weekend.
Lucky him.
It has been a crazy week, with tests and my research, so I'm just now
able to write this stuff down while it's still fresh in my memory.
Earlier this week while playing ice hockey, I started to get dizzy. I
knew full well my blood sugar was going down, so it was snack time. I
got off the ice and had a snack. Everything seemed fine. After the
game, I went with 3 teammates to get some late dinner. I started
feeling weak, so I figured it was just the stress of the week and not
getting enough sleep - and just playing the game that culminated in me
feeling that way. It wasn't though.
We get to the diner and are going to sit down when suddenly I get
really dizzy and blank out. My teammates say I just fell to the ground.
Out cold.
After a moment of darkness, I am standing with them looking down at me
on the floor. People are yelling "call an ambulance" and my teammates
are trying to pick me up and put me in a booth seat. I hear some old
lady say "just let him stay there, he's another college druggie". (If I ever
see her again, I WILL call her an old bat who doesn't know what she's
talking about! Then kick her cane out of her hand!) I see one of my friends
checking my pulse. It's Matt. He knows first aid, just as I do. One
part of me knows I'm in good hands. The other knows...uh oh, here I go
again...
Sure enough, the man appears. Julie appears. Mike appears. (Note - see my opening page for their information.) Some others appear, but not as many as before.
I hug Julie and then I hug Mike and he whispers to me "You made the
right choice, don't feel bad for me. I know we're still friends. I am
at peace." He then steps back
but stands nearby. The man holds my one hand and Julie the other and we
start walking. We have a long discussion while walking in the huge
field. I see all sorts of things. Instead of trying to write exactly
what happened, it will be easier to condense it into the major points.
I will also edit some material because it was more personal. At times I
look down and see I am in an ambulance... and then a hospital.
I can see the doctors working on me. But all the while I am talking
with the man, who for all intents and purposes I will call Jesus.
It's the only name I think is 'appropriate'. Although he never gives me
an exact name and only states he's known by
many names by many people. He knew I had seen a priest and asked about
what I had seen before. He also knew that I didn't get all the answers
I was seeking - other than my name could be a sign, since my first,
middle and last names all have 7 letters - so 777, which is seen by
some as a good numeric symbol. (As opposed to 666, which is considered
evil or the devil.) He said that was correct. It was a personal puzzle
that I had to solve. There are a lot of people
with the same symbol, so I asked if they all have gone through what I
have? He said no, but many have. I asked about heaven, hell, souls, why
me and all that. In a nutshell I was told that even though I am not
"religious", it is OK. Jesus and Julie both explained that organized
religions are good, but also bad. Religions bring people together and
give them hope. But they also divide people and create man-made rules
to follow, some of which are just wrong. The Bible is not THE word of
God, but rather a loose collection of stories and history with some of
what people have seen and been told - like me - thousands of years ago.
There is a lot of interpretation, some of which was created by the
writers and only the writers. Other religious books are the same. But
the common thread between them is the writers did have similar events
in their life like me. They wrote down what they saw and experienced,
just like I'm doing. What I or most people would call heaven is
almost everything around us. It was explained that our creation came
from the universe around us and it is within us. Just as we are alive,
we are part of a larger picture - a living picture of the universe.
The universe itself is "God". "He" is created by all the energy of the
universe and ties us together. Some people are more in "tune" with that
energy and feel and even 'hear' it's power. It is so overwhelming that
to most it 'has' to be God. What we call souls are energy that is
within us all and is the
connection to the rest of the universe. I asked about hell. There is a
sort of
'hell'. It is where the universe has gone "mad" - what we would call a
black hole. The universe is apparently filled with them. They are chaos
because what we call time and space become twisted and "souls" that
wind up in one spend 'eternity' in chaos. This is because time slows
almost to a standstill. I was told science will be able to understand
them more fully in time as our technology and knowledge gets better. As
for being "sent" there, it's hard to describe, but 'souls' do wind up
in that chaos as part of negative energy. It's hard to describe in
words. Maybe one day I'll try. The "real hell" is actually on the same
"level" as where all souls/spirits are. The difference is those
"condemned" have no free will - they are "trapped" and can see those
around them, but can be "blocked" from moving or freely communicating,
so in effect they are in what I might call a "spiritual jail". I
asked about my
dreams and premonitions that have become more intense. "Jesus" told me I
am seeing these things for a reason. The main reason is not to be able
to stop them from happening, but to share with some others so they can
prepare. I questioned to prepare for what? He said as a world society,
we have lost our ways. Since we are part of the universe and our souls
- and energy is directly connected with it, and even our planet, things
will begin to dramatically change. Not just with our society as whole,
but with the planet and even beyond. Basically we have created sort of
a "bad ripple" effect in our area of the universe. The power of our
populations negative energy spreads all around our area of the
universe. Our ancestors saw this
in premonitions and wrote about them. They didn't understand as much as
we do today and wrote in terms of their society back then - the best
way they could in the words that made most sense to them. Jesus said he
spoke with many of them, just like me.
Julie said "This is all true and it's people like you who can help
others prepare for what is coming. You can help them with your
knowledge and help them understand the world and universe around us and
how we're all connected to it." To be honest, this was all overwhelming
and I said so. I didn't want to go into religion, but they explained I
didn't have to. Using my knowledge of science was good enough.
Jesus said he would give me another gift besides this
information and what I have seen already. He asked me to hold his
hands. So I did. His hands were warm and I felt a strange tingling
enter mine. He took his hands away and said "You have the gift to help
people with your touch. Your hands will soothe and help you see the
energy of others and how to help them." Mike, who had been standing not
far moved toward me. He puts his hand out, so I hold his hand. He says
"I will always be your friend. It wasn't your time then and it isn't
your time now. Be well and remember I am at peace." Jesus says "It is
now time for you to go back. Remember
these things and I will tell you more in the times ahead. Do not be
afraid of what you see, it is all to help you. We will be here for you
always." Then it all goes dark and I feel like I'm suffocating. A very
strange feeling of being cold and no air - like I breathed out and not
in. So I take a deep breath and start
feeling warm. I open my eyes and I'm lying down with a sheet over my
face but I can see light through it. I start moving and hear a woman
yell "OH MY GOD! He's alive!" The sheet gets pulled and she starts
calling for a doctor. She looks at me and says "Can you hear me, can
you feel anything?" I look at her and say "I'm back. I'm OK. It wasn't
my time.". I find out that I have been flatlined for over 9 minutes and
was pronounced dead about 3 minutes before. My parents had been called
and a certificate of death had already been started. I was so
overwhelmed by what happened that a doctor who wanted to know what I
experienced got a story I'm sure is written up in some medical journal
somewhere by now. He was interested in "near death" experiences and
what people saw or heard. I gave him enough information to keep him
busy for a while! But I didn't tell him everything. I will probably
only tell the whole story to people I really know or become best
friends with. Not everyone will be able to handle it - or worse just
label me a freak or something. Although it wouldn't be the first time.
But I have to find out what my hands can do, that's for sure.
________________________________________________________________________
Additional notes in 1997:
I have since seen the man I will refer to as Jesus (seriously, that is
the only name I can really associate with him - but he still has not
actually referred to himself with any name), Julie, Mike and
some other people I knew in the past who have passed on - all while
asleep. They have given me more information that I will not relay on
these web pages. Not because of space or not wanting to, but I really
have a strong feeling that many people would misinterpret what I write
or worse - feel they are doing something wrong. They could be
considered religious in nature and it is not my intent (since I myself
am not religious) to make anyone feel uncomfortable about whatever they
believe in or not.
However, to follow up...I have found that my hands have given hope and
smiles to quite a few people. Sometimes I have held someones hand and
can almost "feel" that I'm taking a sad or bad feeling from them, so
they feel better. Many times just shaking someone's hand I get a very
strong feeling about that person - or what kind of person they are. Or
even if something is bothering them. Also, some people have commented
on my hands. It's weird. I play ice hockey, work on and fix electronics
(which requires cutting wires, soldering, using solvents, paints and
other chemicals, etc...) and do some woodworking. But somehow my hands
don't show it. They should be pretty "beat up", but they're not.
Maybe coincidence, maybe not. Julie told me in a dream that my hands
have more power in them than I think. I asked if I could heal and she
said "In some cases, yes." That has freaked ME out. To date, I don't
know if I've done any "healing", but I like to know that I can make
people feel better. I have also discovered that sometimes just touching
someone gives me "flashes" or insights to that persons past, present or
future. It's very strange and sometimes disturbing. (There's
those times when I see something I really "shouldn't" since it can be
very personal about the person I've touched.) Mike told me he did hear
me when I spoke to him
after the car accident. He also told me no matter how sad I feel about
what happened, he is at peace and it was not my fault. I shouldn't beat
myself up with what I could have done to prevent the accident. He said
HE was sorry that I saw him like that.
Earlier this year, I had a series of dreams where I was lead on little
"journeys" to answer questions. I had so many about "God" and the
universe, that required more explanation. I found out via these dreams
that everything is interconnected. There is life elsewhere in the
universe, whether we ever find it or not. It is all connected to us, as
in the universe itself is alive because of the energy of the stars,
planets, and all the living things within it. Combined, this massive
force of energy has "created God". So in that respect, we created
"God". But since all this energy is connected and changing forms all
the time - and we were all created from it, then "God" created
us. At first it was very confusing. But now I understand it
better. It helps me understand that all religions and faiths are
equally right in some respects. Science also has a place and those who
have no religion or faith are just as equally correct - because of
everything being interconnected, even science is linked. I was told
this "energy" or "power" may or may never be fully explainable or
understood because it drives the universe as a whole and is connected
to everything else. It can travel instantly across the universe faster
than light. It is not dictated by our laws of physics because it is outside
those laws and not governed by them. Basically as I see it, it's in
plain sight but
invisible at the same time. I guess words really can't describe it.
What we call "souls" are actually part of that energy within us that
can change form from the elemental part of us. "Ghosts" or "spirits"
are manifestations of that energy. Our brain is "hardwired" to be able
to 'tune' into the frequencies of that energy, but some people refuse
or mentally block so they can't 'listen' to
it - or just ignore it. As for "creation or evolution?", the answer I
got was "a little of both". When I asked about organized religion and
praying and stuff, I was
told again organized religions are both good and bad. Praying in some
respects (depending on the persons frame of mind and if they are "just
going through the motions" or "really trying") does work. It does
because of the power of the universe is being tapped into. We all can
manipulate this energy and send out our own little "signal" to make
something happen. Unfortunately it works negatively as well as
positively. I asked about "evil spells" and "witchcraft" and trust me,
the answer I got I really don't want to write about. But I will say
that if
someone sends out a negative signal, that negativity can have an effect
on more than toward what it was sent to. And it has an overall negative
force on the overall energy of the society and the planet. As for the
"devil" and
"demons", they are the manifestations/result of so much negative, sad
and "anger" energy coming from living things and it then has an effect
on everything else. (That whole interconnectedness stuff again.) By the
way, there IS A LOT of it in the world today.
I asked about the premonition type dreams and "why me" and "how can it
be". I was told the energy of the universe has patterns that work sort
of like waves and are predictable. We would call it "space time", but it works really fast - instantly. A man
(not Jesus) tried to explain it to me. He said it's like a wave on the
ocean coming to the shore. You can see it coming and predict where it
will rise and even crash before it happens. Since the energy of the
universe is tied together in ways we may or may not ever understand,
there's these energy "waves" that create time and space - right down to
things that will happen on our little planet and dictate our little
lives in our little section of the universe. So "premonitions" or
future predictions are possible because of it. One thing causes another
causes another and so on. Can the "time line" be changed? I was told it
can, but there can be serious consequences and it requires a lot of
directed energy from living things. (Which is everything.) Wow!
Depending on how we can
"tune" that information in or be given that information will vary from
person to person. There is really a whole lot more to it that I
just can't put into words. I also don't understand it fully myself, but
I can grasp onto it a little better after the explanation. Maybe we're
not meant to ever be able to fully understand it, because we're living
in our own world of physics created by us and the universe around
us. Pretty 'deep' stuff to think about.
I also asked about suicide. Wow, another big topic! Ending one's own
life is wrong. If it's someone's time to die, the will - but not by
their own hand. Even if someone else kills them (intentionally or
accidentally), they did not do it to themself. I also asked about
terminally ill people who may die by their own hand or have someone do
it to them. Basically, there is a little "wiggle room" in that respect
- where someone's time has already come, but our medicine and/or technology is forcing
them to remain alive. Otherwise, suicide is a big bad negative "ripple"
in the energy of the universe. It also messes with the whole "space
time" thing. From how I understood it, it's like someone is supposed
to be there, but they're not anymore. The energy of life ended and
changed before it was supposed to. It flies in the face of the idea of
we're in control of our own destiny in a way. But it all goes back to
the whole 'everything is connected' and if one thing goes wrong, it has
an effect on everything else. It takes a lot of negative energy to make
someone want to take their own life - energy that contradicts the life
force in everything that is alive. In fact that negative "ripple"
in the energy can actually cause "areas" of suicide - like in towns,
schools, or other close regions - which makes that negativity even more
strong overall. Again, wow. A lot to
digest. I questioned my own "flatlining" and how that all falls
into the scheme of things. The man who talked about the waves and
ripples said only my physical body was "not working" for a short
period, but that my life was still following its path. It couldn't be
too long because my body would not be able to sustain other life within
me (cells, bacteria, etc..) without it's own energy - me! Funny, I
didn't think about how many millions of other "life" makes all of us up
and works all together. But the fact that my life force is very strong,
it could tolerate the brief 'excursion' and pick up where it left
off. Personally I found this a little fascinating because life
itself in many ways is still a mystery.
--------------------------------
If you are ready, go on ahead to my Dreams page. It is these dreams that I get my "messages" most frequently.