Personal Philosophy Page

Added from material that was on the introduction page, with additions. -July 2009, updated 2010

I originally had much of this page's contents on the introduction or index page. However, that page was HUGE. So I deleted this material for content.
Then I thought about putting it back as a new page - and viola! This page came into being.
It really does contain material that should be by itself. It has some of my own personal philosophies about life and myself. I guess more of the "deep" stuff that is outside my experiences. But those things do have a bearing on what is on this page.
I will also include "anecdotes" and other little tidbits that make me who I am.
Why do I bother with this page? Because there are so many others that write about how they see the world and their opinions of it. So why not me, too.
Maybe someone will figure out that I'm actually a crazed lunatic and have ideas that are so far 'out there' that I should be locked up.
If you are that person, I hope I never meet you - because you will probably have me locked up and I don't like to be confined!
Beware, I usually don't swear, but on this page I'll just let it go. If I feel strongly and need to use a "bad" word, I will - but will put an "*" in there.
Now on with the...err.. my show!

By now you have hopefully gotten a 'taste' of what makes me tick. But you might wonder how do I see the world in everyday life?
Do I judge people? Do I judge myself? Do I sit around and think about stuff to write about for this web page? (No, by the way.)

So let's see - where do I start?
I live very modestly. Nothing in excess. I never lived that way. I made it known to family that for holiday gifts, I always preferred practical stuff. Things I could actually use. Although I do tend to collect a few things - and do so with passion. Without going into details, the things I collect I also use. So while some things do sit on shelves, maybe for long times, they do get used or shared with others.
That leads to my other "thing". I'm always there for people. If I can help someone, I do. Unfortunately life has taught me NOT to help everyone because some people burn you after you help them. Even if you thought they were friends. Some people are only friends to take advantage of you. Yes, I was the stupid person who helped someone, only to find out they really weren't friends....more than once. Now I am cautious, but still will go out of my way to help someone if I think they will truly appreciate it. While being cautious, I will probably continue to help those who "pretend to be friends" only so they get some help. Why? Simply because "2 wrongs don't make a right" and maybe - just maybe, they will learn something about being nice and being a real friend.
What about love. Oh my...what a strong word for me. Wow...where do I even start? There are different kinds of love - like love for family and friends and love as in romance and sharing life with someone special. I've been called an old-fashioned romantic. So be it. If you read the introduction, you already know about Julie.
Julie...wow. My heart still pounds when I think about her. That was love. Love with a tragic and sad ending. Just a few years before her death, I lost my best friend, Mike. I loved him like a brother. He was there for me and I was there for him. Just about all my experiences and inner thoughts I shared with him, because I trusted him. Again, tragic and sad ending to his life.  Not previously mentioned, but I also lost 2 other good friends in college. While they were friends, they were not "best" friends, but friends nonetheless. Two more close friends passed on more recently after college. My mom passed away suddenly in 2008 and most recently a very good friend committed suicide in 2010.  These losses started me down a personally sad trait I developed and continue. Even more recently, I found out 3 other fairly close friends (as in people I shared housing or played sports with) also passed on.  All close to my age and "too young to be gone already". One actually came to me in a dream with a message for his wife and kids. I didn't believe the dream at all. I actually had to look them up on the internet to see if there was an actual death notice. There it was...exactly 1 year after they passed on - to the date. (I did get in touch with his widow and it all worked out really well. The message for them made total sense, since it was very specific and personal, and all was good.)
Because of these deaths, I became more introverted. I started to focus more on personal work and projects and less on friends and love.
I have friends and colleagues like anyone else. But I wrap myself up in my work so that I don't get too close to anyone else. I can't help but feel that I will just lose anyone I get close to. Does it have anything to do with my other experiences? Maybe, maybe not.  But to this day I still am cautious about who I get close to - well sort of close to. I actually try to not get too close because of the fear of losing them. As a result I became a workaholic. Finding anything and everything to do to occupy my time. Socializing with friends and colleagues has its time in my life and I still skate and place ice hockey when I can, but otherwise it's work work work.
In fact, just creating these web pages occupies my time. Updating and adding stuff to the dream page takes time. Time maybe I should be using to socialize more. Maybe it's a "rut" I'll never get out of. Maybe there's a reason my life is moving on this way and eventually I will not work as much and socialize more.
Since there is so much on my mind, I don't do drugs, alcohol or smoke. Maybe I should. (Just kidding.)
As for drugs and alcohol, I can honestly say I never did and never will. High school and college certainly presented me with the opportunity to experiment with them all. But I never did. Not once. I watched as friends and classmates would get drunk and high and act stupid, get sick, pass out - and the only thing I could ever think is "that's stupid." I keep thinking to myself with all the stuff I've experienced, why would I EVER need something to alter my reality. Seriously! I also don't want to "escape" from my reality. What really gives me an inner laugh is people who go out of their way to eat right, stay healthy - then go smoke or get drunk or get high, simply because "it's fun" or "it's OK, everyone else does". I always want to ask them  - if everyone else jumped off a cliff to their death, would you do it too because "it's OK, everyone else does.."?  Although I have friends that do drink TO get drunk, do smoke and do get high. I can still be friendly with them, but never will join them in *ucking with reality or killing brain cells. I also have friends that drink socially or with meals and as far as I'm concerned, that's fine. They're not TRYING to get drunk or "escape from reality". I also don't have a problem with extremely/terminally ill patients getting high to help them cope with pain or eating. To me that's a completely different story. Not even worth the arguments about it, in my opinion. People should not suffer or be in agony if there is something...anything that can ease their pain and.or help them eat. End of story as far as that goes.
Then there's sex. UH OH..taboo topic to many. But heck, it's part of life. Without it, none of us would be here! Maybe I'm old-fashioned again, but I think sharing your body with someone else should really be reserved for those you can really trust, care about and someone you love. Straight, bi, gay, doesn't matter to me. I think if someone really likes someone else, can trust them and loves them, then knock yourselves out! I say trust because in this day and age, there's so much NOT to trust with people. Diseases and other partners are the top of the list. It's plain and simple - people LIE. People keep secrets. That's not to say someone HAS to be married to have sex with someone else, just they need to have trust and love between each other. Then there's "casual sex" - which, in this day and age of "just do it" is running rampant. I guess my feeling is if both people really want to do it, then they better have enough trust in each other. They should also think about the possible consequences if there really isn't a trust. Everyone can make up their own mind (or not) and if they can't handle any after-the-fact consequences, then it's "their own damn fault." Personally, I would have to be really close friends or in love with the other person. I just can't see it any other way, but that's because I don't throw the "L" word around like some people. It has a strong meaning to me.
Speaking of people and what they do, society as a whole is really screwed up. I mean REALLY screwed up. It's mainly in the years after 1995 that I think a big blob of "stupid" has covered the planet. There's gadgets and stuff so that people don't have to think anymore. They also have seemed to completely lost that thing called "humanity". Hardly anyone is courteous - and it's nice and noticeable when someone is. It's also part of what makes us "human". As for the gadgets, they have stuff stuck to their heads or I swear glued to their hands so they are in CONSTANT communication with ..someone... Doesn't matter if they're walking the street or driving. They're not paying attention to the world around them, but are stuck in a constant cell phone call or "texting"..or just playing a stupid game ALL THE *ucking time! That means more accidents, not being courteous (have to be paying attention to be courteous to someone else!) and just plain being rude. Now there's "texting" where people pretty much become ZOMBIES while they "text". You could be talking with someone and suddenly a little ding or tickle informs them they MUST stop doing everything and start typing with 1 or 2 fingers on a little screen. They HAVE to. Humanity has lived for thousands of years without these *ucking devices, but now they MUST constantly be in touch..with someone.. at ALL times. The rest of the world could explode, but it will have to wait until the person is done with the call or text. Plain rude and I think it's a little obnoxious.  Although I do have great fun listening to the bizarre conversations people are having - while just walking around a store. Sorry, I do not have a need to know what time it is every 2 minutes, nor do I NEED to be in constant touch with someone 24/7. At work, one of my bosses told me I should get a cell phone because "we need to be in touch with you sometimes". I told them if I was that important, give me a raise, promote my position and give me a cell phone to go with the new position. They didn't bring it up again. I refuse to have some little vibrator or ringer in my pocket so I can talk to someone else who's being just as rude and obnoxious on the other end - wherever they are. Then there's "GPS" devices in cars. Nice. Instead of actually watching the road and paying attention to signs, people can listen to a computer voice tell them where to turn - like the wrong way on a one way street...or off a cliff.  I bet at some point a study will come out saying people are becoming dumber because they're not using their own brain! (Nov. 2010 - just such a study just came out!) Don't get me wrong, technology has its place. Without computers you wouldn't be reading this! I just think people are relying on technology to replace some of their humanity and their own brain to some degree. 
To add to the overall "stupidity", a lot of people are really relying on someone else to take blame for their own stupidity - and even their children. It's always 'someone else's fault for everything. People are losing respect for each other and always playing the 'blame game' for everything. Instead of owning up to doing something wrong or causing something wrong to happen - many just put the blame on someone else. This is leading to an overall "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude. If someone's kid is doing bad in school, it's the teachers fault - or the schools fault - or society's fault. If someone kills another person, there's the argument that it wasn't their fault - it was their upbringing, or society made them do it. Just utterly rediculous stuff. I guess it keeps the STUPID lawyers in business. There's also wearing away at the true history - of the U.S. in particular, but elsewhere in the world, too. No one really knows it anymore. If history is more than 10-20 years old, it's "too old" to matter anymore. So we slowly are starting to create a bunch of children who learn not about history and how the world came to be, but rather how nothing is their fault, everyone is a winner no matter what and you don't really have to learn anything - because you'll get promoted anyway. I can only imagine what the world (mainly the U.S.) is going to be like in the next 5-15 years as all these little precious 'snowflakes' graduate and enter the real world. These kids can't spell, use proper grammar, dealing with negativity - let alone being told what to do and not always winning. And we wonder what's wrong. Isn't anyone actually thinking anymore? Hello, is anyone out there?!
Onto religion. Another ..UH OH..taboo subject. By reading these pages, you can already get a take on my take. But outside of my personal experiences, as I've already mentioned, I am NOT religious - as in church-going or Bible thumping. I think there is a place for religion in society and it does some good. It does help people and gives them hope. But I also believe a person can 'believe' and not HAVE to go to church, temple or a specific place of worship and listen to someone give their interpretation. Not that it's bad, just not for everyone. If someone wants to go and read sacred books or memorize passages, then more power to them. But if someone doesn't want to do that, but still believes, then they shouldn't be criticized or put down because they "didn't read it" or "don't know the words" - or whatever.  On the other hand, if someone doesn't believe in any religion, then that is their decision. But again, those people shouldn't go out of their way to put down or criticize religion simply because they don't believe. Not believing in anything does not give anyone the right to say and do bad things because "it doesn't matter anyway". That, in my opinion, is an easy way of saying someone feels they can be a total *ss*ole without consequences. That goes back to people losing their humanity. I have a few friends who don't believe in any religion/faith. Sometimes when it comes up, they like to start little arguments about "proof" and "worshipping invisible gods". When that comes up, I simply tell them they have the right to believe or not believe anything they want, but not believing is not an automatic pass to be an utter *ss toward others who do. Plain and simple. Respect is a two way street. To get some, you need to give some. I respect anyone's opinion and beliefs or lack of beliefs. They lose my respect when they are not respectful toward others or me.
I guess this part goes under "pet peeves", but people who mutilate themselves with tattoos, piercings, and other holes that don't belong just bug me. I see people for who they are and think why mess with yourself. I have no problem with a tattoo or an earring. No big deal. But some people just go nuts. And there's so much of it these days that it's no longer an "individual expression". It's simply "cool" because 'everyone else is doing it'.  When guys started wearing an earring, there was that phrase "left is right and right is wrong" - basically meaning left ear means straight and right ear means gay. Then some guys just obviously didn't know their left from right - and now it's a free-for-all. Does both ears mean bisexual or woman trapped in a mans body? It sure doesn't "express" anything. There's no "meaning" to it. Oh wait, it looks "cool". Why? Because all the male friends do it? Or the person is in a gang and has to follow orders and do it? Don't even get me started on piercing other body parts (male and female). Just plain silly. Same for "stretching" body parts. Why? Are people THAT uncomfortable in their own skin that they have to do these things? Psychology usually points to displeasure with oneself or appearance...or wanting of attention. Hmm, from some of the *hit I've seen, I can believe the attention thing! I can understand some religions or ethnic traditions - at least there's a reason. But to poke holes and draw pictures all over oneself, is just silly. It's mostly high school and college aged kids who are doing this. I wonder if they all think they're going to work in a tattoo parlor when they graduate - where looking like a twisted clown would be accepted. Seriously. Don't get me wrong, when I say it "bugs" me, I'm talking about "over the top *hit".  If someone wants to have a name or symbol permanently inked into their skin - or a piercing or two (both women and men) because they simply like it and it's not trying to obviously "MAKE A *UCKING LOUD STATEMENT", then no problem.  I'm talking about the walking, talking freak shows out there.  The people you see working in a store and you go to ask a question and what you REALLY want to ask is "Why the hell do you have a rod sticking through your nose, your earlobes are drooping down to your shoulders and please, please, please explain the need for the fire breathing skull that has "*UCK YOU" written in its forehead, tattooed on your neck for all to see?" The only statement you're actually making is you have no respect for yourself or others. Rebelling is one thing, but this is a whole other animal.
Then there's the whole "goth" and "vampire" thing going on. These kids need some serious attention - I mean SERIOUS. Someone who suddenly thinks they are a vampire or needs to dress totally in black and wear black makeup needs some TLC. They obviously are missing something. More problems with society....hmmmmm.
That last part brings me to what I like to call "we the sheep". It's becoming more and more of a problem. People will blindly believe the easiest and funniest things and consider those things the truth. Does anyone actually "look up" stuff and think for themselves? It's a sad day when a large percentage of people get their "news" from comedians and talk show hosts. Even more sad that people today only care about the "here and now". They don't even bother looking up historical facts or really worrying about the future. Everything is about "now". They don't care about what might happen in the future because of what is happening now. And as we all know, some of "now" isn't that great. It's the result of the past. But do we really care about the future? No, because there's the whole attitude of "we'll worry about that later". Or worse - "who cares about 20, 30, 50 years from now, I won't be here anyway..or they'll worry about it then.." The world is in trouble and everyone is only worried about their little own lives in the here and now - with no consideration for future consequences. It's like the big 'ol SUV that gets 5mpg with the "save the world" and "I gave to Greenpeace" or "Save the whales" bumper stickers. Yeah, uh huh. I feel like pulling them over and giving them a good whack in the head with my hockey stick! (Figuratively speaking! I'm not a violent person..really.) Here's where I think organized religion and "home training" come into play. If people started to actually THINK about something other than themselves, some of society's problems would probably start reversing. Yeah, I know ...wishful thinking.

I'll add to this page as I come up with other personal ideas/philosophies as time permits.

Since I created this page as an additional bit of information, it would be wise to go back to the main Introduction Page, which links to the others.